Mind Your Manners

Introduction to Controlled Confidence

I have a saying, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”. I was recently in a regional department store looking for a puppy product. There was a lady with a leashed dog in the aisle I, unfortunately, had to be in. Apparently unable to divide her attention between store shelves and her dog, the little mongrel was free to sniff around my legs.

While being frisked like a suspect, within a very few minutes, the dog had completely wrapped the leash around my legs! Not wanting to use the rather impolite verbiage that entered my mind, I gave a tug on the lady’s end of the leash who finally released me with several apologies. Just because the store chain welcomes customers with leashed dogs doesn’t mean this particular pair should have been. Had I not been more aware than the dog’s (easily) distracted owner, I could have hit the floor as I turned to leave.

A client described how he was ambushed by an “ankle-biter” in the same store. It seems he was toting a large bag of dog food over his shoulder when the unleashed dog jumped from the basket of the (store provided) electro-chart a lady was using and bolted, teeth-bared, toward the heavily laden lad. Surprised, and somewhat defenseless, the young man reacted instinctually and booted the small terror across the aisle! Nothing hurt but the dog’s dignity, of course. And, as is usually the case, the true offender - the lady - became indignant. Thankfully, the young man continued on his way and did not engage.

It’s not just me! In recent years, many have witnessed several incidences of dogs barking, fighting, and defecating in this and similar establishments. Apparently, those that have a fear of dogs, or out-right allergic, have no advocates?! Simply put, being on a leash (or in a shopping cart) doesn’t mean the dog is in control.

If you’re thinking, “Dogs will be dogs”, that, in my mind, is a cop-out. To reach their full potential, dogs, (and children, for that matter), require nurturing people that take an interest in their successful, long-term, development. “Discipline” is not necessarily an aggressive practice, it is a term often used in various professions including arts and athletics and is a major attribute of those who successfully obtain life goals; true accomplishments that lead toward reaching full potential.

Not properly trained and/or socialized, dogs can be unwelcome guests.

It often seems reasonable to a dog to mark (urinate) furniture, violate a person’s leg, stick noses where they shouldn’t, chew-up inappropriate items, jump up to investigate food on counters and tables – or on people. If you’re thinking, “That’s just being a dog”, you are right. And, they are all signs of neglect. Like politicians, dogs are quite hedonistic – a fancy term for serving their own self-interests. Left to make their own decisions, that is basically what they will do, treat you, and everyone else, like a dog.

Dogs (again, like children) welcome a sense of established control with boundaries. If they are not motivated by you, the owner, they will generally take matters into their own paws. They display their version of control in various ways including the aforementioned infractions. Some, such as jumping on people, can cause great harm.

“Where’s the harm in a dog affectionately jumping up to greet people?” you may ask. I have mentioned allergic reactions, along with that we can add scratches, cuts or fractures to arms, skull, or hips to children, the aged or those with an unsteady foundation. Even when not taken to that extreme, jumping up on counters, doors, furniture, etc., causes damage to these items. Take a look at the photo of this door; imagine what might be required to repair that if allowed to continue. Or, if that was done to a person!

Once you have established that jumping up on people, on certain furniture, heads on laps at the dinner table as well as infractions like those previously mentioned is unacceptable then, you and your dog will be welcome almost everywhere. (Well, your dog, anyway.)

Remember, it’s far easier to allow a well-trained dog an occasional favor than it is to de-program (established) bad behavior. Taking the time to appropriately train a pup reflects kindness and concern. So, show your pup some love and allow it to be more than a dog.

Next: “Controlled Confidence”